I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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