He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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