see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Buhtt sex?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize