I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
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