At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
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Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
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What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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