Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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