i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
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I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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