there's paper in my vomit.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
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Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
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the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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