The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize