i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize