Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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