Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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