oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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