I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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