I wanna passion pit in your ass
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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