No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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