Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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