it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize