guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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