direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize