Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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