How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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