I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize