my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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