i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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