my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
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