This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my shit smells like andre
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You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
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This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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