Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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