Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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