i just google imaged poop.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
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She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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