Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
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Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
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Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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