you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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