I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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