he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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