when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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