suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
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