I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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