I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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