so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
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