what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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