Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
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I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
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u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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