Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
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He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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