nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
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I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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