Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
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