I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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