Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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