I'm going to jail i love you
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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