I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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