I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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