ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
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Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
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Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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